The anticipation is growing.

For the past week, I wake in the morning and realize that I've had nightmares about packing and being prepared to leave for France. Last year when I went to Italy, Sarah and I had just finished moving all of our belongings (including our other roommate Carolyn's things) into a new apartment--we were up all night, moving small loads in my car. It was a nightmare. We ended up sleeping for an entire day after that. Then I had to pack and go to Italy the next day. I was frantically putting things in my suitcase the night before--unable to control the wild impulses of anxiety that were literally surging through my system. The adrenaline poured into my stomach.

As of late, I've dreamt that I was packing and moving again and speeding around in a car, trying to get it all done. Then there was the dream about realizing it was time to leave and only having an hour to pack. I wake up and say thank you when I realize that it is actually a week away and I still have time to pack.

I have a large list of items (mostly photographic equipment & art supplies) that must be stuffed into my luggage in addition to personal items. How will it all fit? I don't want to be dragging (not carrying) bags all over Europe.

It will all be done, yes? Yes, it will. I just have to put off fear and trust in God to accomplish for me that which I cannot do for myself (which is everything). Yes, dependence on Him, not myself.